Thursday, March 14, 2013


When you take a step back from your hectic life and think about just how quickly things can change, it is quite scary. There are so many things that we take for granted and it is so easy to forget just how good we have it. There is always somebody else who has it worse. However, right now, I feel like I am that "somebody" else and it sucks!

When I look back over notes, saved websites, Facebook posts, blog entries and see just how many things could have gone "wrong" with Hayden's entrance in to this world, it is hard not to count my blessings and thank God for the love that He showered Kelsea and I with. It is very obvious that in a pregnancy surrounded by as many possible complications as Hayden could have had, Kelsea and I have been extremely fortunate. We have such a happy and healthy baby. 48 hours ago I was sitting on the living room floor typing how well he was doing while he was sound asleep in his bouncer.

It is amazing what can happen in 24 hours. Tonight I am typing this post from a chair in the NICU at Children's in St. Louis. As I said before, the past 24 hours have sucked! There is no better way to put it. Unfortunately, I think Hayden drew the short end of the stick.

Although he didn't sleep a ton yesterday during the day, my parents said he did a pretty good job and was fairly happy. When I got home from school around 4:30, he was very comfortable and happy to be in my arms. We changed the dressing and compression and Kelsea started feeding him at 6:00. Everything was good and normal for the first 14 minutes and 59 seconds. However, at 6:15 on the dot, Hayden starting screaming bloody murder! He couldn't be consoled. Kelsea was able to get him to finish his close to 85 ml, however he wasn't happy. He cried and screamed and writhed like he was in pain for over an hour. Since this is completely atypical of the boy who is normally a little fussy, but never unhappy or in pain, it worried Kelsea and I. Around 7 I took off his compression wrap because I thought maybe I got it too tight. About 30 minutes later, we redid the kirlex wrap (gauze) because I thought maybe I had that too tight. None of this seemed to help. Kelsea texted Kathy Asbury (his family doctor) and she came right over. We feel blessed that God placed Kathy in our lives to take care of Hayden. She could tell something was up, but we couldn't pinpoint it.

Kathy was able to get Hayden to calm down and she said she would put a call in to his St. Louis doctors to see what their thoughts were. Kelsea tried to go to sleep and it all continued to go downhill from there. Hayden spit up/vomited most of his milk and then out came the stomach bile. He couldn't sleep and continued to scream and act like he was in pain. I was able to get him to calm down for about 10 minutes, but every time he would continue the cycle of spitting and screaming. The spits/vomits progressively got worse through the night and in to the morning.

I woke up a 4:45 this morning (actually it was Kelsea waking me up to tell me she was returning to bed!) and he started screaming! As I lifted him out of his crib, we had projectile green stomach bile all over the place. I hollered for Kelsea to help and we got him cleaned up. Kelsea texted Kathy back to update her and I had an idea today was going to involve a visit to the ER. I just didn't expect it to be the one so far away! I figured I should go ahead and get a sub, so I ran in to school at 6:15 this morning and got my sub plans put together. In the mean time, Hayden proceeded to get sick again and threw up more milk. We didn't know what to do in terms of him throwing up and continuing to feed him. On one hand, we knew we shouldn't continue to put breast milk in to a stomach that has, for the past 12 hours, set new land speed records for projectile vomit, but we didn't want to starve him either!

I got home around 7:15 and called for backup. Mom and dad came over shortly after and we got cleaned up and packed for St. Louis. Kathy suggested we go ahead and forgo local ER and take him to where the doctors know him. She contacted the ER and his surgical team and let them know we would be enroute. I told Kelsea I had a feeling we might be there for awhile and she needed to pack an overnight bag. Boy are we glad we did that. We finally arrived at Children's around 10:45. Hayden slept pretty much the entire time and we learned our lessons from over night and didn't feed him at 10 o'clock! by 11:45 we were back in a room in the ER and the doctors and nurses started their work. Of course, he was dehydrated and they couldn't get an IV in. The doctor told us the other option we had was called an IO line which can be used in serious cases or life-threatening times. Well, guess must have been more serious than we realized because they used a little cordless drill to drill a needle into his shin bone and put the IV directly into the bone. Crazy! The ER dr. also noticed it looked like he had what's called an inguinal hernia. He was able to get it pushed back up, but the intestines later dropped back down. Even though possibly connected to the spitting up, this is a secondary concern at the moment.

The biggest concern is if their is a blockage in his GI tract. We were able to spend a fun couple of hours in radiology with a doctor who was absolutely crazy and fun! They ran barium through his system and did serial xrays to see if they could find anything out. These will continue through the night. Until then, we are back in the NICU. This time we are in the private room side. It is like a whole different world. I wouldn't say it's better than on the other side, it is just different. Babies who have gone home normally aren't readmitted to the NICU. However, one of Hayden's doctors saw my post on Facebook that we were in the ER and poked her head in. She said she wanted to have Hayden back on her team and would try to get him back in. Well, after 8 hours in the ER, he made his return trip and here we are now!

He hasn't eaten since 6 this morning and he slept for several hours in the ER and in the NICU once he returned. We got a hotel room in the Parkway, which is attached to the hospital and Kelsea is back in the room sleeping. I am by the boy's side and he is hungry and rooting around, but he is calm. That is pretty darn good considering twenty minutes ago while kicking his legs, he ripped out the needle, which was screwed into his bone! We are hoping to begin feeds in the morning and I have already started my list of questions. This time though, on the Parkway Hotel notepad that was left on the dresser!

I wrote earlier about how I feel I am that "somebody else" right now and everything else sucks. It was a rough day and being readmitted to the NICU was definitely not on my list of things I wanted Hayden to accomplish in 2013. However, all things considered, we are pretty darn lucky. We have such a strong little boy. This is not where we wanted to be right now, but it was where God put us. Do we have to like it. I don't think so. Can we change it?? Not really. The best thing we can do is to take a step back and take a deep breath. We have to remember that this is all part of God's plan that involves every little player involved and that we are hear for a reason. I hate to leave him, as I so vividly remember typing four weeks ago, but I need my rest. After all, I don't want to be late for my 6:00 a.m. appointment with the doctors doing rounds! We poked our head in to our old room tonight and saw a few of our favorites and of course, the one who stuck her neck on the line for Hayden (won't mention any names) would give me a hard time if she didn't see me walking by at six in the morning!

We aren't happy that we are here, but it is not what we want. We aren't happy that we are here, but we are happy Hayden is where he is.

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