Last Friday, Kelsea and I were met with some saddening news. Her cousin, Lucas Myhre, had been murdered the night before in Riverton, Wyoming. We are not exactly sure of the circumstances, but he was shot three times and suffered the same fate that his father had fifteen years before. As Uncle Bruce said today at the funeral, "One murder in a family is tough enough. Yet to suffer through the same thing twice is unexplainable." His ashes were spread in Wyoming, on the family farm near Dorchester, IA, and buried with his father at Waterloo Ridge Lutheran Church.
After driving over 600 miles in 26 hours, I made several realizations.
- Northern Iowa is beautfiul. I used to think of Iowa as flat land full of corn. Boy was I ever wrong!
- God was preparing Kelsea and I this week for our life ahead. After driving to Springfield Wednesday for our dr. appt., even though we weren't excited for the driving part of this trip last night and today, we wanted to be with family in this difficult time. During our trip, we got to laugh, cry, sing songs, joke, talk about our future, share stories, and eat a romantic dinner at the Travel Plaza in Urbana, Iowa sitting between a fireplace and a water fall! (BTW...i only made her mad two or three times...I think every time was because I have control issues and don't like being a "passenger" while someone else is driving...true in the car and in life) We know our life next year will be filled with driving, eating on the fly, dr. appts, NICU, and no time to do things for ourselves. I asked God several times this week why his timing was the way it is. I leave in 7 hours for a tournament in Lincoln, IL as well! However, it hit me tonight as we were pulling in the driveway. Our life will be hectic and it will be spent doing things that we don't necessarily want to do. However, isn't that what God asks of us? To do not what we want, rather what He wants?
- We are surrounded by hundreds, if not thousands of people who love us and would do anything for us (I already knew that....it just hit me again these past 24 hours). We both had the time to read the e-mails, messages, posts, text messages that everybody has sent our way. We know it's a long road ahead, but we also know it won't be travelled alone.
We are currently waiting to hear back from Kelsea's doctor in Quincy about our next steps. Kelsea's information was forwarded to Washington University in St. Louis where they will review her information and decide which doctors will be best suited to help us along this journey. Not sure when, but we are guessing we will be making our first trip to St. Louis sometime next week.There, we will probably have to repeat the process again. Another Ultrasound, more consultations, testing, etc.... However, we look forward to it, even though it means another trip in the car, because it will continue our journey as we learn more about our future and Baby H's future life.
One thing I am not looking forward to (I know that will change when the time comes) comes from my selfish side. I have already promised (over and over and over) to our little boy that I will do anything and everything to ensure he has the best life possible. In order for that to happen, I know I will probably have to give up things in my life that I cherish. One of those, as many people know, is doing what I do from June through October. I hate to think about it, but I feel this will probably be my last go 'round with soccer.... at least until the lil' one starts playing!
The last 7 years, this has been such a big part of my life. People on the outside might think we hate each other based on the things we say to each other and how we act towards each other, but we have a bond that is hard to explain. It's more than just coaching the boys. The other coaches...they are what makes this enjoyable, instead of a job. Even though some of the coaches have changed over the past years, it's always the same. It was evident this week, no matter what outsiders think or see, just how great these guys were. Matt, Eric, and Travis made my life easier by making their's more difficult. They are more than a coaching staff. Although I can't reveal the content, my life tonight was filled with 25 minutes of laughter revolving around our text message conversation. These are things I will miss.
It's easy for me to be selfish and say I will miss many things about my life now. However, I quickly think about that precious gift from God that is growing inside of Kelsea, and it makes the sadness disappear. It makes me look forward to the change and the future.
However, the future is not here......bus leaves in 6.5 hours......time to get back on the highway.....